Today’s Color

Grief has put me in this phase where I developed this unmeasurable idea that I can replace people I’ve loss, that’s psychologically unhealthy. Since I’ve recognized that, I have finally realized that I’m doing myself a disservice trying. It’s one of those things that I dislike about myself. Imagine someone in your life who never disappointed you and showered you with unconditional love and in a blink of an eye there no longer there? That’s the one reality of life that I wished none of us experienced. I have developed a lot of bad habits since then that’s difficult to quit. I’m not writing this for advice, I’m writing this to talk to myself, it makes me feel better. I’ve been taking the quality of my life for granted because I can’t be present, it’s like an unhealed womb and you know what the say? Hurt people hurt people. You realized how much hurt you caused people when you experienced someone mistreating you, when you’re not being respected, or considered. You can’t change people you can only communicate and teach them how to love you. It’s up to them to decide to receive the message. I hate the way I respond to disappointment, it’s truly damaging... It even makes my blood boil, I’ll get better with that but I can’t even lie people got to think, not as I do but they just got to THINK. I’m going to fix the damage though, but until then the work begins internally. Today’s color is Black, PEACE!!!